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I had intended to spend the bare-bones four-year requirement expected of an officer, but, they saw my abilities, and sent me to a rather prestigious MBA program. I appreciated it to the tune of staying longer than anticipated. Finally, though, institutional military life wore on me. I tendered my resignation and became a proper civilian for the first time in way too long. I took a month traveling, sunning, and just-short-of-hedonistic life. After, I hit the streets, looking for work, and found an excellent job paying almost double what I’ve made as an O4. I settled in, once again attacking my work with great vigour, and worked my way to a place of prominence, attracting notice along the way. ++++++ Then came the gay uprising. Suddenly, the subject of gay rights became a big fucking deal (pun intended). Civil unions, rights to be allowed with loved ones during times of hospitalization or (God forbid) hospice, wills and inheritance.

Again? Big mother fucking deal. Why did I care? Why. I must convince Howard that I have given up any idea of an affair. I must make him believe that I am his exclusively and that my request the other night was nothing more than the ravings of a menopausal woman. Surely he could believe that was possible. I had stopped taking hormone replacement therapy after the health scares. Perhaps I could blame it on that.I told Ginny about my confrontation with Howard. She scolded me for being so careless. She knew of my desire to take a lover. She does not approve. She warned me that Howard would never accept it. She can't understand why I would want to cheat on him. She sees him as the perfect husband. She's right of course. He is perfect. Too perfect.Why am I so hell-bent on self-destruction? Why do I think I can have my wonderful husband and another man on the side? I don't understand myself. It's not like I haven't had the experience of other men before Howard and I met. I know the difference. I know how much better Howard is than other men..
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